Macro v. Micro
How you do the micro is how you do the macro.
As I flight attendant I got to see humanity at their most real. One thing became obvious very quick — how we board planes is how we do life.
That person who ignores every bit of advice* and “is positive this bag will fit in the overhead bin” only to find out we were referring to the amount of room on the plane and not the size of their bag is probably the same person who has to find out everything for themselves and doesn’t trust easily. Or maybe they’re the control freak who ends up clogging the entire “aisle” of a project just so they can be right.
The person who arrives 2 hours early, sits quietly, follows directions, and stays seated until the seat belt sign turns off, probably rarely makes waves or speaks up.
The person who acts entitled because they paid for the upgrade expects to be treated better than every one else at the grocery store, at work, with friends, burdening many a relationship.
The person who never gets on a plane by justifying cost, work, and manufactured responsibilities regularly puts off moments of connection and joy.
There are lots more** but the point is:
How we do the micro is how we do the macro.
This week I walked out of an absolute butchering of a haircut pretending I loved it. I was too scared to have a confrontation in person, in the moment — most of all: Where It Was Fixable.
Instead of 5 minutes of hard, I chose 6 hours of rent free conversations in my head, 30 minutes of searching for a new barber, 5 texts to friends, another $60 for a rescue cut, 90 minutes of drive time and additional haircuts and explanations.
Instead of pausing before I went in, assessing that I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to explain what I wanted and settle for something calm, normal, and easy, I pushed ahead with The Plan and pretended to be fine and happy and capable of asking for what I wanted.
Instead of explaining that I work better when I’m asked a lot of questions instead of trying to navigate ADD hell of short succinct descriptions, I told a rambling story.
Instead of confirming what they’d heard, I assumed I’d clearly communicated.
How I do the micro is how I do the macro.
I can touch on dozens of situations, relationships, meetings, and marriages where I showed up E X A C T L Y the same way.
I’d rather pretend everything’s okay in the moment when it’s fixable than do 5 minutes of hard.
I’d rather pretend I’m not drowning in order to push through.
I’d rather swallow my horrible hard day than be vulnerable and say, “you know what, I’m not in a great place, could you care for me? Could you meet me where I’m at even though it will inconvenience you?”
How I do the micro is how I do the macro.
But we’re not taught that.
We’re taught to focus on The Big Stuff — the BIG meeting instead of the interaction in the elevator.
The deadline for a client instead of our 6-minute morning self-care routine.
The promotion instead of the way we prep and pack our lunch box (Or if we even care enough about our bodies to have nutrition as a priority).
Where we live instead of setting the table with our kids.
But what if we’re looking at it upside- down? What if the things we dismiss as “a little thing,” “a minor set back,” “no big deal,” are the VERY THINGS we should never dismiss? What if those are the moments that demand our fullest attention — both at the moment of the doing and as we reflect on where we’re stumbling, struggling, and sabotaging?
What if fixing the micro fixes the macro?
What if putting our seat backs up and stowing our tray tables when asked really might save our life?
And not just in the event of a plane crash.
What if that micro moment of compliance expanded into a macro moment of compliance that changed the trajectory of our life — a moment with a client, a loved one, a stylist, a child.
Are we flying in airplanes the way we want to fly through life?
If our airplane etiquette were our eulogy would we be proud of that legacy?
How we do the micro is how we do the macro.
*from literal baggage experts like gate agents and flight attendants who see hundreds of baggage scenarios a day
**The 4 love languages of pax (putting this here as a reminder to go write the thing and expand on airplane personality types)
***I’m currently “watching” a meteor shower through my bedroom window instead of taking 3 minutes to throw on a blanket and go stand outside in the cold to see the splendor of the entire sky. Micro=macro
****split this into two separate articles (chapters) one for the haircut, one for the pax. Both micro v macro
